Wheeltracks

2002-11-06T09:31:00.000-05:00

The following story has been posted on the Telegraph motoring pages this week.

My brother-in-law has recently purchased a Mercedes C Class and very kindly has allowed me the opportunity to drive on more than one occassion. The car is a dream to drive, it is "class" on wheels.
However before I get carried away, here is the full merc story of another owner published in the Telegraph. (Not for reproduction).

Portrait of a driver
(Filed: 02/11/2002)
Harry Mount talks to the art critic Brian Sewell about his life behind the wheel and takes an alarming trip in his 17-year-old Mercedes
Going for a drive with the art critic Brian Sewell is an alarming experience. Not because he isn't a safe driver. Far from it. He navigates his great, long Mercedes through the backstreets around his Wimbledon home with stately grandeur - slowly and gracefully picking, if not the racing line, then the most comfortable ambling line.
"Driving should be like drawing," he says. "You make an elegant line. You can steer a cleaner line through the road than the line of the road itself. You're not 'going for a walk with a line', as Paul Klee said of drawing, but you're driving with the line."
Because of the multitude of parked cars in London, it's no longer possible for Sewell to see far enough ahead to develop a proper driving line. But he still steers like a pro, carving out fluid curves as he turns into corners.
He does all this without any shoes or socks. "I don't understand why it's more comfortable. I just prefer it." His naked toes, though, keep perfect control over brake and accelerator - the only thing he doesn't like about his 1985 Mercedes 560 SEC is that it's an automatic. "A manual would be perfection. You feel more in control," he says. "Still, in some imperceptible way, the huge, lazy engine seems to work in the same way as my brain."
With the driver in such effortless control, his lack of footwear has little to do with the low-level panic I feel. The reason why this journey would be like no other was made clear by Sewell before we got into the car. At any moment, he warned, he might make an "emergency stop for a dipping blackbird". Devoted to his dogs, Sewell will stop for any animal.
"I'm often hooted by drivers for going too slowly. I am going too slowly - not because I'm a little old lady, but because I know where the foxes cross, which trees the squirrels are in."
And the blackbirds? "When they swoop, they're literally eight or nine inches above the road. What's the split-second touch on a brake pedal compared to the life of a blackbird? For me there is no question what one does. I would just like a large notice on the back of my car, saying: 'I stop for birds, squirrels and foxes, never mind little old ladies and small children'."
As we drift gently past large, detached Edwardian villas, a light rain and a thin layer of autumn leaves on the road are the only hazards to contend with. But still I adopt a braced version of the casual posture - shoulders back, legs stretched - that the squashy, cream leather seats and deep footwells of the 560 encourage. For the moment, the streets are blissfully free of wildlife, but that could change in a second without warning - Sewell knows where the squirrels live; I don't.
Most drivers are forgiving of Sewell's blackbird-friendly pace and sudden halts. He puts it down to the Mercedes being left-hand drive. "Other drivers can see that it's left-hand drive, and that it's got this white-haired thing driving on the wrong side, and they're remarkably forgiving. They make the assumption that you can't see anything."
Sewell thinks this thoughtfulness is a rare throwback to a gentler age of motoring. Otherwise, the aggression of London drivers has snowballed. He had a heart attack in 1994, so didn't drive for five years. After a lifetime of happy motoring, mostly in Daimlers, the break was disturbing. "Going back on the road was one of the most nerve-racking things I'd ever done. The standard of driving had deteriorated. People had become infinitely more aggressive, unforgiving, abusive. One wasn't allowed to hesitate or make a mistake."
That increased aggression means London driving is no longer a pleasure. The forthcoming congestion-charging scheme does not escape censure. "I would quite like to stand on Ken Livingstone with a dozen other people. He doesn't care what an effect his scheme will have on those who persist in using public transport. Successive governments should have said: 'We'll take on the motorist once we've provided reasonable alternatives.' "
Since a disappointing trip to the Continent this year, he's also lost the taste for the long jaunts across Europe that he describes in his latest book. "The misery of the trip was nothing to do with the car, and more to do with going back to places that hold lots of memories but have changed." The Mercedes went like a dream. "It's very fast, comfortable, quiet and a good deal of fun."
He plans on having the car until it explodes. "But I shall probably explode first. Because of the heart condition, I have to have my licence renewed and, when my licence next comes up for renewal, the doctor might not be able to sign the piece of paper. I can't expect him to perjure himself. So that would be the end of driving."

2002-09-07T10:39:00.000-04:00

Ferrari sack entire pit crew (Joke).It has been reported that the Ferrari F1 Team fired their entire Pit-Crew
yesterday. The announcement was followed by Ferrari's Decision to take advantage of the UK Governments "Work For the Dole" Scheme and hire unemployed youths from the Manchester area. The decision to hire them was brought on by a recent documentary on how unemployed youth in the Manchester
area can remove a set of car wheels in less than 6 seconds without proper equipment where as Ferrari's Existing crew can only do it in 8 seconds.

This was thought to be an excellent yet bold move by Ferrari Management. As most races are won & lost in the pits; Ferrari would have an advantage over every team.

However Ferrari expectations were easily exceeded, while during the Crews first practice session; not only were the 'Manchester Boyz' able to change the tyres in under 6 seconds but within 12 seconds they had resprayed, rebadged, and had sold the vehicle to the McLaren Team.

2002-08-01T11:17:00.000-04:00

Getting away with speeding

This emailed joke was sent to me by a motoring enthusiast in the UK. The phrasing indicates that the joke originates from my side of the pond.

A guy gets pulled over for speeding 88 MPH
in a 45 zone. The cop asks for his drivers
license and the guy says, "I'm sorry officer,
but my license was suspended after my 5th DUI."

The cop asks for his registration and the guy
says, "It's in the glove compartment, but
it's not in my name because I stole this car
in a car jacking and I killed the woman that
owns the car and stuffed her in the trunk and
the gun I used is in the glove compartment.
At this point the cop tells the guy to keep
his hands in sight and he radios for back-up.

When a supervisor shows up, the cop tells him
the story and he walks up to the guy in the
car. The supervisor asks to see the guy's
drivers license and the guy hands it over and
it is valid with the guys real name and
information.

The supervisor asks for the registration and
the guy says, "It's in the Glove compartment."
The supervisor tells the guy to keep his hands
in sight and walks around to the passenger
side and opens the glove compartment. There is
the registration in the guys name and everything
seems in order.

Next the supervisor asks the guy to get out and
open the trunk. The guy opens the trunk and the
only thing there is a spare tire.

At this point the supervisor tells the guy what
the other cop had told him. The guy says "I'll
bet that lying S.O.B. told you I was speeding
too!"

2002-07-19T10:11:00.000-04:00
Grand Prix of England.

A little nugget to share with you SpeedVision the motoring channel here in the US were advertising the British Grand Prix with the following text information.

8pm: Grand Prix of England from Derby, England.

Does Bernie know of this circuit and what of the millions for the new roads in Northamptonshire!!!!

2002-07-05T16:20:00.000-04:00
Has not been forgotten I promise. Time and tide don't wait for any blogger. But I can also be read on London Chimes www.malcolmfriend.blogspot.com

2002-06-10T20:38:00.000-04:00
From the AGH Department.

I have through good fortune been following the ups and downs of this years F1 season until this weekend.

In my area the coverage is being shared by SpeedVision part of the Fox network and ABC who have rights to 4 of the races, including Italy, USA, Canada and one other that I fail to remember off-hand.

ABC have let me down badly this weekend as they decided to cover the cycle racing in Philadelphia at the same time as the F1 race in Canada.

Typical that one of the two races on my continent I could not watch. I am aware of the results and understand that it was one of the better races of the season.

Annoyed in the USofA.

2002-05-14T12:44:00.000-04:00
Business as usual. – Austrian GP, May 12, 2002.

Formula One racing is the pinnacle of single seater motor sport. I have followed F1 since 1983, watching and spectating at most of the races since those heady times of Piquet and Rosberg, through the battles of Prost, Senna and Mansell. I thought that I had seen everything that F1 racing could muster both on and off the track. I was wrong, the Austrian Grand Prix at the A1 Ring developed one of the more thrilling races of the season into a race that between the last bend and the finish line proved to be anything but a race.

It was very much business as usual - and every F1 supporter, including the many fans who booed and whistled from the grandstands in Austria need to recognize this simple statement.

F1 is a business, big multi-million dollar business. From the teams, the sponsors and the circuits. The F1 machine generates millions and effects many businesses not least through the ticket sales, TV deals and sponsors. Yet when push comes to shove it is all about points and prestige. Michael Schumacher won in Austria because the team, Ferrari and the sponsors supporting the team have a financial stake in Schumacher winning the championship and Ferrari winning the constructors championship than anything or anyone else.

Rubens who had just signed an extended two-year contract to driver for Ferrari as their number 2 driver, was inspired that weekend through his winning pole position on the grid and leading the race with the exception of time during his pit stops, but with his teammate in second place, “someone” made the decision for Barechellio to pull over reportedly at between 8 laps from the end of the race and the chequered flag.

The fact this maneuver was completed within feet of the finish line only added to the disgust of the moral majority. To say that this was poor PR on behalf of Ferrari, is a huge understatement, but would the same group have complained so loudly if Schumacher took the lead 7 or 8 laps from the finish line? We will never know.

I appreciate my views are in a minority here. Without the skill of predicting the total points Schumacher may accrue to his championship tally in future races this season, Ferrari, the sponsors and the team who have much invested in the titles were simply looking to protect their investment and to do this needed Schumacher to win the race.

It was obvious from the actions on the podium, with Michael placing Rubens on the top spot of the podium and handing him the winners trophy together with the body language at the post race interviews from both drivers that this was not a victory Michael either wanted or believed needed while Rubens was attempting to keep a composed posture through his personal devastation, as he spoke fluently about what was best for the team.

Before posting this blog to Wheeltracks I have read the many internet reports, pundits views and fans comments that have been written. Large numbers of fans have overwhelmingly made it plain and simple that F1 racing cannot be controlled from the boardroom. – But the fact is that it will continue to do so.

The FIA have called the drivers and team to account at a special meeting in June. This type of strategy does not carry a jail sentence. Although in some countries fixing a race so that a driver wins is against the law, especially if there is a financial advantage through for instance gambling. The biggest penalty that the FIA may pass out is a large fine to persons unnamed and possibly loss of points.

Other teams and drivers have joined the ranks to complain, but if the racing boot were on the other foot, would they not do the same. Both Frank Williams & Ron Dennis have similarly given their drivers team orders in past seasons. They simply could benefit from Ferrari losing a few points to benefit their own team objectives. So with business as usual, it is in their best interests to make a fuss.

I have read reports that Ferrari fans burned their flags in disgust following the race, and that it is not inconceivable that ticket sales could be down at next weeks race in Monaco. – I think not. This jewel in the crown of the F1 season is a sell-out and there is nothing better than a little controversy in the sport to create a little additional interest. Besides Monaco is something of a gamble for the drivers as the best bet is to be the first out of the first turn, keep away from the barriers and avoid incidents which at Monaco there are always more than at a typical F1 race.

So who won on Sunday? Not racing, as the FIA deem this behavior to have brought the sport into disrepute. Ferrari did not win today in the hearts and minds of many. Schumacher did not score a victory. While the paying spectators did not win today, at $500 per grandstand seat, these spectators obviously believed they were robbed of something.

Perhaps a championship has been saved today - but this is something we will not know for some time.

Loyalty and racing is the last thing F1 is about. It is all about return on investment and big business. - If you want pure racing look elsewhere.

Many race fans will disagree with my viewpoint, this is evident from knee-jerk reaction polls on-line. I fall within an 11% minority that the result was justified. For the last couple of years I have not supported any particular team or driver, but remain a devoted follower of the sport and the politics! Through my contribution to the organization of many motor sport events in the past and as a competitor, I believe I am qualified to offer this viewpoint.

What happened in Austria was simply business as usual, and that is just what we can expect in the future despite personal expectations of this global sport.

This Wheeltracks postings is free from Copyright and may be copied and reproduced free of charge.
Comments please to MalcolmFriend1@aol.com

2002-04-30T16:45:00.000-04:00
Wheeltracks
Mal Friend

It has been a while since I last appeared in print between the covers of Wayfarer. Ed Davis extended an electronic invitation to me to produce something for Wayfarer and I am happy to take up the kind offer.

I left Green Belt five years ago to explore other opportunities. That journey has taken me from Potters Bar and led me to Hatboro, Pennsylvania USA, and happily married to my wife Taney since 98.

I have very fond memories of the thirteen years I was with Green Belt, fun anecdotes about the Easter Tour and many of the other events promoted by GBMC. Like the time I broke my arm putting out Motor Sport is Dangerous signs at the Northaw Autocross.

I moved to the States a couple of years ago and have had great fun learning to drive on the wrong side of the road. Thank goodness for cruise control as a recent drive to the shore took me along a route that was so straight I could have questioned if the Romans actually landed in New Jersey and built roads.

My parents often ask me how I am getting on driving on the wrong side of the road, [right]. To be honest at first it was very strange as my brain kept telling me that this was plainly wrong and driving on the left, towards oncoming trucks, school buses and was best, but not good for a long lasting life. If you have seen the size of some of the articulated lorries (trucks and trailers) you will know what I mean.

Now driving on the right like most things, it has become second nature; I even pull over to the right to give way in car parks (parking lots). Although I still have to be very observant to the road signs, speed limits and signals, especially when I traverse roads that I have not used before. I am quite pleased that my record shows that I have only jumped one red light and headed down a one-way road the wrong way once with one ticket thus far accrued, but that is another embarrassing story for another time.

After being used to sit in traffic jams and flying through London at the average 8mph, it is a welcome surprise that for a country where the car is king, that the roads in these parts are relatively empty of any volume of traffic compared with the UK. Some days can be so quiet, it is like driving on Christmas Day, you know the feeling of light holiday traffic, everyone in a good mood and nobody in any particular hurry.

However I have noticed how the driver behind you in intent on reading your dashboard they drive so close. Any closer and they would be sitting in the passenger seat having a conversation with you. So much for the "2 second rule" of distance when following a vehicle it seems more like a 0.2-second rule and I am sure this trait of tailgating keeps many a body shop in business Taney & I have already seen one 3-car pile-up [fender-bender] caused by driving too closely and having no braking distance. Whilst on my way home from work the other evening I saw a sign on the back of a van, which read in very large, letters “Please tailgate I need a new bumper”. Just about sums up my thoughts on this issue.

This subject neatly leads onto lane control where you have more than one lane in each direction. There simply isn't any. Thank goodness in the UK for the Highway Code. Keep to the inside lane unless you are overtaking. Here the local drivers use the "pick a lane, see a gap in another lane, go for it, don't worry about the signals!" method. I just give a bit of space to the car in front and watch the antics of the cars around me. But a simple rule (not that it's adhered too much in the UK) about lane control, would offer some help here.

After driving in the UK for years it is surprising what roadside furniture you miss after a while. The friendly round 30mph speed limit signs for one, traffic islands for another. You would have thought with the roads as wide as they are would have refuges for pedestrians, perhaps I am just using the wrong roads and they do exist. Pedestrians are King here and drivers should give way to them at all times. As I cast my memory back to last summer when I was the pedestrian trying to cross a 6-lane road. Down by the Philadelphia Flyers Stadium using a crossing similar to a zebra. I made sure there was not a car in sight from either direction before heading across 40 yards or so of painted concrete with no refuge island in the middle, let alone looking left then right for traffic! Can't say it did much for my nerves!

The other piece of road furniture I sorely miss is cats-eyes. Driving at night cats-eyes gave an indication of where the road was. Whereas here I think that the paint they use on the roads here is to some extent reflective and with lines denoting the sides of the road and the lanes it is straightforward to follow, for the extent of the lighting on your car. But does not offer the same sense of direction. It is easy to assume that all roads are straight but when the bends come up, and they do exist, it would be helpful for cats-eyes. So in the meanwhile I’ll just keep eating the carrots to improve the night-vision.

Traffic lights are suspended over the road, above the natural eye-line. After years of Red, Red Amber, Green, Amber, Red. I am getting used to a new sequence and new rules:

Red - This means stop, unless you are turning right when you can turn right on red unless there is a sign to tell you that you can't turn right on a red light. When I cross a junction on a green light it is very disconcerting to have a drive edge out on you from the right.

Red Amber combination doesn't exist! Lights go from Red to Green about 3 seconds or less after they have changed in the other direction. Can't say I am surprised that some drivers race each other off the lights. Green is green the world over.

It has taken me a while to readjust from driving to a 30(ish) limit in built up areas to the more standard 25 here. With the presence of police radar traps here, not that I have fallen foul, it has been easy for me to cruise at 33 in a 25 unwittingly. Although speed limits do vary for no apparent reason along the same stretch of road. A 25 limit may jump to 40 or 35 and then there are the enforced 15 stretches outside schools when the students are arriving or departing usually heralded by lines of yellow school buses.
Between the crossing guards (lollypop ladies and gentlemen) and the volume of school buses, it is difficult to exceed 15mph during the peak arrival and departure periods of the students. However the parental school-run is greatly reduced to that witnessed in the UK. I am sure it makes the commute to the office all that easier with less traffic on the road.

Since I have started driving in 1980 there is one noticeable difference in that I have yet to actually go inside the station to pay for my petrol. Here it is more common to pay at the pump; swiping your card through a debit machine. Very 21st Century compared the petrol stations that I remember in the UK. However to balance this step-forward, for a step back in time, New Jersey have attendants and I cannot remember the last time I had that done in the UK.

Now don't get me wrong, many of the drivers are responsible law abiding, speed keeping individuals. It is just the few who drive in my boot, cut me up and frankly look like they are an accident waiting to happen. Furthermore they are the drivers in this local area. It is different in other parts of the states I am given to understand, worse in some parts, better in others.

So in the last 2 years what I have learned? Well in the immortal words of Michael Caine in the Italian Job, "in this country you drive on the wrong side of the road".

My international license was only good for a limited time and I had to take the Pennsylvania State Driving Test. “They say..” that the best day you drive in the UK is the day you pass your test then all those bad habits start and your driving deteriorates. Humph! Well that day for me was in June 1981 a few cobwebs had been added to my driving skills not least the competition driving techniques I had learned in auto testing (no handbrake turns in the test), and although I had since taken and passed my IAM Advanced Driving Test with the help of the Hertfordshire police force. (No handbrake turns in that either) The thought of taking another test, questioning me on strange signs and driving on the wrong side of the road did not exactly thrill me.

Growing up in the UK we are conditioned into understanding the basic rules of the road. The Penn Dot Manual a state version of the Highway Code covered everything I needed to know to pass the theory test, which I needed to pass just to get a learners permit. Thank goodness my international license was still good and allowed me to continue to drive for a while. In Pennsylvania there are three stages to earning your learners permit, normally without getting behind the steering wheel. First a medical to prove that your fit to drive, then a Penn Dot eye exam. Finally a the theory test on a touch screen computer, 16 multiple-choice questions, with the option to skip the order of questions to correctly answer 14 to earn the permit. With no time limit to the test I sat at the screen and despite my swatting and driving experiences on American roads, fell back on my British driving theory to answer some of the more taxing questions, passing on one nasty little question relating to the number of points added to a juvenile arrested for driving under the influence and without a license. Learners permit earned I returned to the same center the following week to take the practical test.

The examiners all former police officers started the test with a parallel parking test, many who failed this never made it beyond the Penn Dot center car park As I had given up driving in London many years ago and unless you traveled to an American city centers like Philadelphia or New York which I do not, the need to parallel park is a meaningless test. As car parks are in abundance and I have yet to Parallel Park yet. Resisting the opportunity to complete the test Russ Swift style (with the handbrake) I did the standard maneuver although it seemed quite odd reversing to the right than the left after all these years. The rest of the test lasted five minutes and took me through a car park at 15mph. Stopping at several stop signs, a left, right onto the County line before heading back to the start. A far cry from the practical tests in the UK. No reverse around a corner, no 3-point turn, no sitting in traffic. In fact my examiner and I had a not so long and meaningful chat about this on the way round the test and how the American test could be improved upon!

I have very recently created a web page called www.wheeltracks.blogspot.com where this and other motoring items will be posted when time permits. Please feel free to pass on this link as I would be very happy to know that my postings are being read. Comments can be sent to MalcolmFriend1@aol.com

2002-04-30T16:15:00.000-04:00
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